Follow Me In My Determination To Change

I thought if I shared my journey I would be more likely to succeed.

Tuesday 31 August 2010

The Challenge I Look Forward To

To succeed I need little steps and little challenges.

*   The first diet, the liver diet to actually have the operation.

*   The first 5Kg, the first 10Kg.

*   The first day in the gym, and the first time my clothes need replacing.

But I also need a big challenge, not just reaching the 76Kg (!) but something fun. I said I wanted to take part in sport with my friends. I said they ski and the dive. I can't ski and won't be able to. A few years back I badly broke my wrist, perhaps if I hadn't been so heavy the damage would have been less but it was a mess. It was thanks to a brilliant surgeon and even more fantastic physiotherapist put back together, but it will never be the same and can't be fixed a second time. So any sport where I could fall and automatically put my hands out, skiing, ice-skating are out. I am not sure I could actually hold a ski pole for very long either.

Exercise will also be a challenge, I will have a personal trainer to get started and I will go back to the physio to see what he suggests. I can carry heavy weights in my hand but can't lift or pull with it, so need a little help with that.

But today I made the pledge to dive next year with friends. And I am very excited about it already.

Don't Read the Gutter Press

When you decide to do something, you are suddenly aware of it far more around you. So now I have decided to have this operation I see evidence of it everywhere. As I tell friends they all know someone who has had some sort of weight lose surgery, but this week there appears to be a conspiracy. It has been headlined in the press and not for the right reasons.

The story is that the NHS is wasting money on surgery. I think it is miss reported and if you read the article in full the doctors say that the cost is much less than treating the obesity issues later in life. It also says that the rise in numbers could be because there is more knowledge and understanding of the procedures. But whatever they say and whatever you believe, this is not an easy option, and I am paying for it.

When I went to see the surgeon he talked through several options, which I talked about in an earlier post. i have chosen probably the newest procedure but the one my surgeon, who is a pioneer in this field has had the most success with and believes is best for me.

NHS guidelines say you need to have a BMI of over 35 or over 30 if health already affected. I meet that criteria and did not have to 'gain' weight to be included which is what the article suggests is happening. But being accepted for surgery is not the final hurdle, the surgery has risks, not least the standard risks of anesthetic etc. You have a strict diet to follow for 2 weeks before to ensure they can actual perform the procedure, you have to shrink your liver. Then for 6 weeks you reintroduce food slowly, and then comes the exercise, if you don't do that you can end up a lighter body with an awful saggy body.

So please don't tell me this is the easy way out. It will be hard and I want support not be told I am influenced by celebrities who have done this, or simply looking for an easy way out.

I have a confession

I know a lot of people, well more than 6 who have had this operation. I suppose that is because I am friends with people who have the option because they can, and if it is a priority, afford it.

A few had the operation a few years back with mixed results and at that time I had no interest in it. My friend had it earlier this year and I have to admit it made me think about it, but I still didn't think it was for me. Then when I realised how ill my mum was and seriously thought about my own health and to go for it, I was quite excited. I met my friend's sister for lunch one day and before I got the chance to tell her, she announced she was having the same op. I have struggled with including her in this blog, I know how important it is to her and I support her every step, but I don't want people to think it is a bandwagon I have just jumped on. We are all doing it for different motivations and it is not just an expensive hobby. So I am sorry I had mixed feelings, I am so proud of them both.

She had the op two weeks ago, so I have spent the last week with the start and finish of the process, and I am still happy to go ahead.

I will be doing my first two weeks post op with them, not just because they know how I will feel, but because they have a blender!

Oh Dear

The last two weeks have been very busy, I have been travelling for work and had my annual beach holiday with family and friends. Lots and lots of food on offer and I have to say I have eaten far too much.

For 4 weeks after I visited the doctor I did stay off the sugar, but there have been cakes in this last 2 weeks. I will try and knock that on the head again now. I have however stopped any alcohol and am now over 2 weeks into that. It started with me having too much to drink and saying 'never, ever agian', but when I thought about it, I have to stop 2 weeks before the operation and for at least 6 weeks after, so better to stop now.

When I have eaten too much, I have felt very guilty. It isn't a case of 'my last chance', I am not feeling like that at all. it is simply a lack of will power. However my friend has been around the last week who had the op earlier in the year, and although she can eat more than I expected, she has shown me you can eat out, enjoy and eat sensibly.

Thursday 26 August 2010

What An Inspiration

I am on holiday this week with my friend, who had the operation earlier this year. She has lost 4 1/2 stone but more importantly her BMI has dropped from 39 to 27; healthy is between 22 and 28.

I knew she had done well but she wouldn't let me see any photographs but what rally worried me was if she had changed. We are 'ladies that lunch' and I was worried she would be like a reformed smoker and keep telling everyone she couldn't go out and put herself in the way of temptation. She hasn't we go out enjoy ourselves and she eats what she can, she can actually eat too much especially if it is the wrong food, it isn't a magic cure, but she has changed her approach to food completely.

She had an appointment with the doctor yesterday and he was so pleased with her, she could lose a few more pounds if she wants but he is more interested in her being the same in six months. The exercise is the most important now.

She is an inspiration, she looks fantastic, she walks much better and she has so much energy. I can't wait for it all to start.

Tuesday 24 August 2010


I was away last week for work, I travelled with a very dear friend and a new friend. I talked to both of them about this decision and received a lot of support.

The new friend is an image consultant, or rather that is one of her many skills, she gave me lots of advice on my current image - I present a lot to large audiences and it was great to have her feedback; but she also gave me advice about changing my image because whether I realise or not, the physical changes in me after the proceedure will affect everything.

The dear old friend laughs about everything and alternated between teasing me and asking serious questions. He was the first person to ask me if there was any risks. Yes there are, but the doctors went through those and I am OK with that. This is a friend I can ring at anytime day or night if I have a wobble. I will be visiting with him the week before the operation and although that in itself will be a challenge for the liver reduction diet I need to be following then, I will be able to charge up on support.

Another very close friend has found me sharing this with her, the catalyst to look at something she wanted to change about herself. She looked at everything, talked it through with her partner and professionals and finally decided it wasn't that bad after all. I think that is important, it doesn't matter what people decide it is the careful consideration of an issue rather than the ignoring of it that is wrong.

And finally, today I visit my friend who had the operation at Easter, she has not shared any photographs or weights with me, and I am so excited to see her today.

Thursday 5 August 2010

-10 Weeks

It is now 2 weeks since I had my doctor's appointment and 10 weeks to the operation.

I have told more people than I expected, and the reaction has been on the whole positive. Occasionally someone doesn't say it but you know they think it is not necessary and if I wanted to lose weight enough I could do it without surgery. I know I have to put with us, but hopefully over time it will be accepted.

I was asked to give up sugar by the dietitian at the clinic, and without a big issue I have given up direct sugar, no cakes, no puddings and no sweets. I am sure there is plenty in the food I am eating but I am quite proud of what I have done so far.

 yesterday i had a very stressful day and whilst at the airport waiting for my flight I so wanted a cake with my coffee but I resisted. I am certainly not on a diet but cutting down, a little.

Wednesday 4 August 2010

Is it a sign?

I haven't yet given away my identity, but the only people reading this know who I am anyway.

In a previous post I said 118278 was where I need to be from where I am, a loss of 40Kg. Then I discovered it should be 118276 which is 42Kg. So why was I surprised, the answer was always going to be 42!

I don't like the term but I suppose I am getting used to the 'geek' label. If the answer is really 42 then it must be a sign that I am meant to do this.

Sunday 1 August 2010

All You Can Eat

Today I had lunch with a big family group, I was visiting my mum and there were several others around and in total there were 11 of us.

I looked around the table and none of us were small, although a few were not what I would call fat. However we all fell into the 'All You Can Eat' trap, of eating far too much. Each plateful looks OK, it is just you can go back and eat more.

Then you start to notice the other people in 'Glutony Central' and most were really big, and our conversation turned to how much people were eating, and the height of the food on their plates. In some perverted way it made us feel good because however much we were 'pigging out' it was nothing compared to many of those around us.

As I thought about it, I felt sick, physically sick. Please let this work.